Thursday, July 11, 2013

Reset

I really like hitting that reset/refresh button in life. There are those times when I feel like I'm coming up short on this or that... lagging behind on something... too many things to do, not enough time to do them... y'know. But then there are those days when I get everything I wanted to get done DONE, and sometimes even more. Like, doing something I've been meaning & wanting to do for days or weeks... those days when everything just sort of falls into place and you feel so productive & accomplished. Ah. I like those days. It's like showering... sometimes it's a pain in the neck to shower, but once you do it, it's like - SWEET! Don't have to shower again for a day or two. 


But maybe I need to learn how to be more content with leaving things undone & realizing everything is a process. And that a lot of moments in time are just phases. Sometimes life is busy, sometimes life moves at a slower pace.


I feel like lately I've let thoughts of not being "enough" get to me. Ugh, I don't like it. Like, am I being a good/creative enough mom for Jaden? Am I teaching him enough? Am I being selfless & loving enough to Nick? How can I be a better, more fun/thoughtful wife??? Or I'll just think, "I wish I were more brave. Or more patient. I wish I had time for doing things I want to do [drawing/writing/playing music/CREATING], rather than just the things I have to do." 


How do you balance everything in life? I crave to fill my life with creativity & happiness & things that are inspiring and colorful and artistic and fun... I crave to spend more time improving any talents & hobbies I may have. But all too often, my day speeds by in a fuzzy blur & before I know it, it's time for bed. And I would happily stay up later to invest time in those things if I didn't have to be up when my child gets up for the day [too early ;)] the next morning... :) 


I think this "unsettled" feeling I've been having is a clue that I need to change something. Maybe I just need to manage my time better? Come up with more fun activities to do with Jaden? Think of ways to pamper my spouse more often? I wouldn't classify myself as a super structured person... but maybe a little more structure to my day would help me find time to do things & feel more accomplished. I don't know. Tips? Anyone? 


I am a firm believer in positive thinking, though. I know that dwelling on negative thoughts for too long can get the best of anyone. I am proud of myself for other things I'm doing - like exercising every morning. I was never a very good exerciser, but I love that it's become a habit of mine ever since a month or two after Jaden was born. I love staying healthy and taking care of myself. It's not even a "chore" anymore - I honestly look forward to my workout sessions with my personal YouTube trainers each morning [XHIT is my latest fave!]. 


And also, I hope that didn't come across as me saying that I feel unsatisfied with my life as a mom! I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world!!! I love taking care of Jaden and would be heartbroken if anyone else took the lead on that. I guess what my question boils down to is one I already asked -- how do you balance everything in life? And what are different ways to make the day-to-day life more exciting & meaningful? I think I just need more ideas of things to do with my almost one-year old... and okay, I miss being close to family where we can hang out during the day together, which always spices things up! :) :(   


Anyway. I just had to write down all this mumbo jumbo. I really would love any advice if anyone has some to offer... :) 

8 comments:

Heather said...

I know you feel about the loss of family to spend time with when you move somewhere new! It's hard to find other stay at home moms to hang out with when you move so far from Mormonville :) I wish I had some good advice for you! I think what works for me is having something to look forward to, like exploring somewhere new or a new project/craft that I am excited to do. If you figure it out let me know!

Emily Stanton said...

Kelly, are you kidding me? You're doing a great job! I think sometimes there is just so much to do as a mom that you feel like something is missing because all you are doing is focusing your energies on being a mom, but that's what makes the best ones! :) Read this talk, it's empowering and comforting as a young momma! http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1997/04/because-she-is-a-mother?lang=eng

I also have found with Avery that the simplest of things can spice up the day, like going for walks, reading books outside, spontaneous dance parties to our own made up music, painting with water on the sidewalk, chalk, bubbles, fingerpainting, playing follow the leader, making animal noises, banging on pots and pans, haha one year olds are way fun! Anyway hope that helps and hope you guys are doing well! :)

tyler + annie said...

this post was just what I needed! Some days are SO hard for me. I get overwhelmed with laundry and how my house looks etc. Superficial things like that. Ugh unpacking after a vacation is my least favorite thing ever and only adds to the nostalgia I always feel when a fun trip comes to an end! I talk to Tyler about it all the time and he recommends having something to work towards. Like a goal, learn something new(i'm trying to learn HTML) etc. It can be hard doing the same thing EVERY day. As much as we love our babies, it sometimes gets a little mundane day after day. It's really just always an ongoing struggle to work at every day. I am definitely not very good at it.
Love that you work out to YouTube! I gotta start doing that...I feel so lazy but whenever Halli goes down for a nap I just wanna nap too! Haha. But I know i'd feel better if I worked out. Thanks for the motivational post girl! You are a great mama, don't be too hard on yourself! Jaden is a lucky boy to have such fun parents!

Lacy Allred said...

LOVE that you posted a youtube channel! I'm going to do my very best to work it out. Do you just do one of those workouts a day?

De España said...

Hey I just read this. I'm no expert on balance... but I guess I TRY to make daily plans so that my days feel more meaningful. When Eli was first born, it was really easy for me to waste too much time on the internet... Pinterest, Facebook, blogs, etc. He just slept and layed around all day and so it was easy to just stay home and live mostly through the computer. But I hated the way it made me feel. As he has gotten older I've learned to try to have something to do every day, like go to the pool, the splash pad, play dates with friends, visit Grandpa for lunch, etc. This summer I have been tending my niece and nephew so we do stuff with them every day and that has made it so fun and easy. I know that's harder for you with family being far away, but maybe you could try to look up mommy groups in your area. One thing that always stood out to me on my mission (when I was visa-waiting before I was supposed to go where I was "really" called) was something the mission president's wife said to me: "Bloom where you're planted." I know that's a common saying and I knew what she meant when she said it, but now, looking back on it, I think it means more to me. I had a hard time there because I just really wanted to get where I thought I was supposed to be (Venezuela), and because I was so focused on what I thought I wanted I wasn't enjoying what I had in front of me (the best trainer in the whole universe and some of the best investigators of my mission). Also, now that we have a garden and have to take care of it, I realize all the work that goes into "blooming." You have to make sure to get water daily, get sun as often as possible, and constantly, CONSTANTLY pick those weeds!!! Ewe, I HATE weeds! But when you do that, you can bloom! I guess you can decide what water, sunlight, and weeds represent for you, but I know for me I think so much about what they mean to me while I am out working in our garden. Anyway, this has gotten so much longer than I meant it to be, and I feel like I'm just rambling. But basically, my main thoughts are: yes, some structure and plans REALLY help with making a day more fun and meaningful (at least for me, and I don't consider myself a very structured person either), and just figure out what to do to bloom where you're planted. Maybe you should try to meet some moms in your area. I bet you will find some great friends there if you really reach out! I have never considered myself a very social person, but have found since having Eli that I get A LOT of joy from meeting and spending time with the moms who live in my area. Well, sorry for the long comment!

De España said...

PS- I also want to make clear that I don't think I'm an expert on the topic! I'm just offering my personal thoughts since you asked for advice! I could also use plenty of advice on the subject and am not perfect AT ALL on continually having meaningful days!

Karissa said...

Oh man, I'm still working on that whole balancing life thing. It's actually sort of funny that I read this post today because today while I was cooking dinner in my really messy kitchen I had a total melt down (tears and all) and this very thing. I felt like I wasn't doing enough, like I can never accomplish what I need to, let alone do extra projects that make me happy, etc. Jayson was totally great about the whole thing. I think we just need to remember that we just have to try our hardest and if the dishes aren't done and we still have laundry piled up at the end of the day it's ok. There's always tomorrow with which we can strive to do better.

collette charles said...

You always impress me. You stay so positive and always try to learn new things and be better. I can't imagine living away from family while raising a bebe. You are a strong lady! My dad always told me to have something to look forward to, like a little trip or fun activity. The monotony of day to day can turn us into robots.

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